You take games too seriously.

The Top 10 Games I’m Looking Forward to Making Fun of in 2009

(this is the worst New Year's image I could find on the internet. thanks, simgamers.com!)

(the worst New Year's image on the internet. thanks, simsgamer.com!)

10. Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars
Because if there’s hooker-on-stylus action, I have a week’s worth of posts.

9. Henry Hatsworth
Because I’m insecure in my masculinity, so rather than just enjoying a game called “Henry Hatsworth”, I need to make fun of it to prove I’m not a little girl.

8. Scribblenauts 
Because I can’t wait to see if it recognizes “dildo”.

7. Wet
Because the gross, gross puns reviewers will attempt in writing about it will make for a quote round-up to end all quote round-ups.

6. The Beatles Game
Because playing as Ringo Starr will either be infinitely sad or infinitely awesome.

Top 5, after the break.

Read the rest of this entry »


Filed under: Commentary, Top Ten

Top 10: A Banjo-Kazooie 3 Wishlist

If you’re like me, a real sucker, you downloaded Microsoft’s new media app, Silverlight, to sneak a peek through Rare’s dirtied peephole at Banjo-Kazooie 3. And if you’re like me, a real stubborn blockhead, you were upset to find a teaser page featuring a rotating golden puzzle piece. There was no Banjo, no Kazooie, and definitely no Mumbo-Jumbo.

Check it out here, or don’t bother, and imagine this image, gold and twirling.

I shouldn’t be upset. Sure, Rare let me down, but that’s happened before. Why even get my hopes up? So in an effort to save myself from further damage, I will not mention Banjo-Kazooie 3 until it is released.

Screw it, top ten wishes for Rare’s Banjo-Kazooie 3, go!

10.) Pre-Order Swag: Party like it’s 1999 with your Mumbo Jumbo Beanie Baby.

9.) Re-make Rusty Bucket Bay: Technically impressive at the time, the idea of Banjo and Kazooie trapped underwater in a sinking ship whets my whistle. Think Poseidon Adventure meets Brother Bear. It would be hell, upside down.

8.) Guest Appearances: Joanna Dark, Donkey Kong, James Bond, Viva Pinatas, and Conker, however improbable, let’s make it happen. Please.

7.) An Obvious Title: Banjo-Threeie. Do it for me. Or do it for Pony Boy. But please, Just Do It.

6.) Time: I try not to get my hopes up for major releases, but this time I can’t help but be both excited and worried. I’m as anxious as cattle in a meat factory, but please do not rush this product, Rare. I can wait another three years, or even another platform for a great game. I have bloody indulgences like GTA IV, Too Human, and Cooking Mama 3 to hold me over.

5 through 1, including Jinjos and paint balls, after the jump…

Read the rest of this entry »

Filed under: News, Top Ten, , , , , , , ,

RSS Hardcasual on Twitter

  • An error has occurred; the feed is probably down. Try again later.

this is a blog about video games by chris plante, sam ryan and chris littler.

subscribe via rss, follow us on twitter, be our fan on facebook.

"BEST OF HUMOUR... Hardcasual is the magic mirror for gamers who aren’t afraid to laugh at themselves, and each other."
- Gaz Deaves, Video Games Records Manager, Guinness Book of World Records

"I liked Hardcasual when it was serious. Then they made a joke about me and turned into a comedy site. Now I like them even more... These guys are like The Onion of video games."
- Stephen Totilo, MTV Multiplayer Blog