Sunday is a lazy day at Hardcasual Central. Chris goes to brunch (like a real New Yorker!) and works on his thesis, and Sam sells people brunch and then sleeps a lot. So Sunday is also the day that we make you do our work for us.
Remember when you were a kid and you saw that game on the shelf that you absolutely needed? Say, Super Mario 3 or the Legend of Zelda? Well, how often did that game turn out to be the NES TMNT or Clay Fighter 63 1/3?
We remember feeling all too well. So let’s all look back at our sordid gaming pasts, and share our memories of the times when we nickel-and-dimed our ways into a $60 turd.
WE’RE BACK!: A DINOSAUR’S STORY for Game Boy.
Steven Spielberg produced this shitfest of a movie – a battle between the good “Captain Neweyes” and evil “Professor Screweyes”, writ large across a team of friendly dinosaurs who just wanna hang out in New York City and visit their (own?) bones at the American Museum of Natural History. I don’t think I ever even saw it – by then I was more than old enough for my attention to have turned to Jurassic Park.
But then I saw this at a friend’s house: We’re Back for SNES.
Back in 1993, these graphics FLOORED me. These sprites were… at least twice the size of Super Mario World’s! So the game must be twice as good, right? I begged my parents for the game, and wondered just how awesome the game would continue to get from the one level I played at my friend’s house.
When my birthday rolled around, it wasn’t the SNES version that arrived, though, but the even-less-impressive Game Boy version. There’s no YouTube footage, and for good reason. It was the blankest platformer ever – with sprites more Super Mario Land than even Super Mario Land 2.
And that’s how, at age 8, I learned the hard lesson that every gamer must eventually accept: Graphics aren’t everything.
Chris’s memories of a Genesis… err… “classic”, and your chance to share fond memories of gaming gone awry after the jump.