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Sephiroth Sick of Being Followed Around By Opera Music

Sephiroth dreads the F6 in Mozart's aria "Der Hölle Rache kocht in meinem Herzen"

Sephiroth dreads the F6 in Mozart's aria "Der Hölle Rache kocht in meinem Herzen"

MIDGAR, GAIA – White haired Final Fantasy icon and would-be destroyer of the planet Sephiroth is sick and tired of the cheesy rock opera music that seems to be following him around.

“Ever since I was thrown into that reactor core, I can’t seem to escape this awful music,” Sephiroth told Hardcasual in an interview at his Midgar residence. “It plays every time I get into an argument or a confrontation. The littlest things set it off. I hate it!”

Maive, a blind elderly woman who lets Sephiroth sleep on her couch in exchange for his protection against a neighborhood gang of rascals, says that the music helps her gauge Sephiroth’s mood. “He seems like such a nice boy, but he has quite a temper. Sometimes, when I ask him to tidy up his area or put his giant sword away, I hear the music start to play and I know he’s getting irritated. If it weren’t for that music, I’d probably have been run-through forty times over.”

Hardcasual accompanied Sephiroth to the King and Queen, a coffee shop he frequents to play chess. As he waited for friend, we talked a little about what life has been like for him ever since he was destroyed by Cloud Strife in the lifestream and inexplicably brought back to life several times.

“To be honest with you… I wish I would just stay dead. I know I’m the guy that everyone loves to hate, ever since I killed whats-her-face, but every time I come back, the music gets more dramatic and I grow another wing. What the fuck am I going to do with all these wings?” he asks, lifting his coat to reveal a mess of feathers beneath.

We waited in the King and Queen for two hours, but Sephiroth’s friend never came.

Sephiroth’s reputation is well known in Midgar, which makes it hard for him to find steady work. To make ends meet, the man who summoned meteor performs Wednesdays and Fridays at Bucky’s, a dive bar in Sector 7. Since he is unable to play any instruments, Sephiroth stands on stage until he is angered by a heckler, and then stands on stage in a fighting pose while the rock opera music plays for the bar patrons.

“It’s a living,” Sephiroth said after one such performance, looking off at a distant sunrise. He took out a handful of gil. “Let’s go blow this on hookers and materia.”

Littler

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this is a blog about video games by chris plante, sam ryan and chris littler.


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