ENDGAME – Employees working at the evil overlord’s castle are concerned about what the brilliant flash of light emanating from highest tower and appearance of an ethereal digital clock ticking towards zero mean.
“I was refilling the hot lava moat when I heard a loud scream. It was really weird, because it, like, echoed over and over and over again,” said one foot soldier. “It was like, ‘Gah-gah-gah-gah-gah!’ Then there was this shrill sound, and the clock appeared.”
The clock, which is visible in every room, floats just out of reach of the custodial staff’s highest ladder. Attempts to shoot it down with a cannon have proved fruitless. The white numerals seem to consist of some ghostly matter, perhaps ectoplasm. Speculations as to what the clock is counting down to vary wildly. Some theorize that it’s how long until everyone gets a raise, others claim that it’s counting down to Take Your Daughter to Work Day.
“It’s really distracting,” said one necromancer, who was reanimating the corpses of feral wolves when the clock appeared. “I complained, so my boss went upstairs to His Highness’s chambers to get the scoop on what was going on. He said the door was barred shut and heard a lot of exposition coming from the other side.”
Some employees have contacted the local chapter of their union, The Minion Men. They claim that the ticking clock is a clear violation of union regulations. However, there isn’t enough time to organize a strike.
Though the evil overlord has made many an enemy in his attempts at world domination, his staff is confident that the bright light and ticking clock have nothing to do with a possible intruder.
“What, like some plucky young nobody could break through our defenses and get to the big guy without us knowing? Do I have to show you the statues with laser eyes again?” a giant skeleton troll told Hardcasual.
Before the possibility could be explored, the interview was cut short by a frenzied panic in the dining hall. The clock’s numerals had turned red and the castle was filled with tense, percussive action music.