You take games too seriously.

Fat, Ugly Korean Fails to Wow Britain’s Got Talent Judges With Crazy Taxi High Score

Mr. Ho takes a load off while the Dreamcast is set up.

Mr. Ho takes a load off while the Dreamcast is set up.

SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA – Further proof that lightning doesn’t strike thrice: a fat, ugly Korean named Jin Ho who has never touched a woman before failed to impress the judges of Britain’s Got Talent with his Crazy Taxi high score.

Mr. Ho, who is just over five foot tall and weighs well over two-hundred pounds, appeared before the judges with a Sega Dreamcast in his hands and asked that a television be wheeled onstage. While technicians scrambled to meet his requests, judge Simon Cowell staged an impromptu interview.

“What’re we going to be seeing from you today, Jin?”

“I’m gonna play Crazy Taxi for you,” Mr. Ho replied as a chair was placed for him onstage. Mr. Ho took a seat and fired up the console. “I’m gonna beat my own high score.”

Judges Simon Cowell, Amanda Holden, and Piers Morgan, as well as a confused and captivated audience at the Sydney Opera House, watched for six full minutes as Mr. Ho played through one of the hardest levels in the game without uttering a word.

“I’ve always wanted to play in front of a large audience,” Mr. Ho told interviewers before his turn on stage. “This is a talent that I have been nurturing for years, ever since Crazy Taxi came out in February, 2000. I’ve shown a few people – mostly family – and they don’t seem to understand how… hard it is to do what I’m doing. My hope is that smart people like Simon will recognize my high scoring ability and everyone will applaud and a girl will touch my [penis].”

Mr. Ho managed to beat his high score by well over two hundred points, possibly setting a world record for that level, but by then the audience had turned on him. Piers managed to quiet the crowd momentarily while he and the rest of the judges ripped Mr. Ho apart.

“Completely miserable,” Simon told Mr. Ho, “The worst I’ve seen. It seems we’ve opened a Pandora’s Box of hideously unattractive people who think they can find salvation on a television program. Well let me say this to you, Jin Ho, and to the entire viewing audience – it isn’t gonna happen. It just isn’t. Go back to your cave.”



Filed under: Commentary

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

this is a blog about video games by chris plante, sam ryan and chris littler.

subscribe via rss, follow us on twitter, be our fan on facebook.

"BEST OF HUMOUR... Hardcasual is the magic mirror for gamers who aren’t afraid to laugh at themselves, and each other."
- Gaz Deaves, Video Games Records Manager, Guinness Book of World Records

"I liked Hardcasual when it was serious. Then they made a joke about me and turned into a comedy site. Now I like them even more... These guys are like The Onion of video games."
- Stephen Totilo, MTV Multiplayer Blog
%d bloggers like this: