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You take games too seriously.

Homeless Man Outside Arcade: “Stop Puttin’ Tokens in My Fuckin’ Cup”

It's called a quarter, faggot!

It's called a quarter, faggot!

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – The homeless man living outside the FamilyTime Arcade on Vermont Street wants the world to know that he has no use for tokens, and to please stop putting them in his change cup.

The man, who looks to be around fifty years old, with ratty bleached hair and large scar across his right cheek, told Hardcasual that his name is ‘Jesus Motherfuckin’ Christ’ and that he is trying to collect enough change to print his own version of the Bible. According to Mr. Christ, he has been on this corner for three years now and has no plans to relocate.

“Been here for so long, got all my stash spots around here, y’know? Never had no problem until goddamn video games came in. Fucker. Fucker puts gold shit in my cup. What am I s’posed to do with this? Goddammit!”

Mr. Christ told Hardcasual that he is a Vietnam veteran, as well as a veteran of both World Wars. That would make him over a hundred years old.

“I shot JFK,” he said, and then took out a switchblade and cut up a piece of beef jerky. Not a minute later, a group of teenagers walked by and threw tokens into his empty In N’ Out cup. Mr. Christ looked visibly upset, spitting on this reporter’s jeans.

“That guy is a menace,” said Yuna Qua, the owner of FamilyTime arcade. Mrs. Qua went on to tell a story about how Mr. Christ broke into her arcade and was caught by police performing sexual acts on an unplugged Silent Scope machine. “My customers hate him. That’s why they do it. It’s cruel, but there are a million other places he could hang out besides outside my store.”

Not true, according to Mr. Christ. “God called me. This is where I’m at, y’know? One a these days I’m gonna get a shovel and dig through the cement where you’re standing and come out in China. Then I’ll be fuckin’ king. I’ll be King Rape.”

Littler

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3 Responses

  1. Typical loney thats why i drive a Bently those tokens add up he should play the ufo games and get himself a stuff animal and chill with it. Typical loser of Los Angels send him to the dessert or bakersfield.

  2. I beg for tokens if he wants some booze i will give him 1000 tokens gary@knbr.com or a look at my wife LOL

    Gary Kardashian Radnich

  3. Larry Satin Kreuger says:

    HA HA i beg for tokens.He should get in on the token resale business if not get the gang bangers in the area to take care of this dude.

    Larry Kreuger i know gary above and hes the man LOL or thinks he is

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this is a blog about video games by chris plante, sam ryan and chris littler.


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