You take games too seriously.

65 Dead in Tragic Tetris Accident

Picture taken moments before the tetrominoe struck.

Picture taken moments before the tetrominoe struck.

NEW YORK, NY – The buildings on 3rd Street between MacDougal and Sixth Avenue disappeared today when construction completed on a corner lot that had remained empty for 50 years. While neighborhood residents feared the occurrence was an act of terrorism, officials have concluded the event was a rare act of Tetris.

“The Tetris Effects is as tragic as it is uncommon,” said Edward Skyler, New York City’s Deputy Mayor for Operations. “The city hasn’t seen an incident with this high of a human toll since we lost an entire block of Lower East Side tenements in the Great Tetris of 1934.”

According to Skyler, the completion of the corner condominium building on the previously vacant lot filled all gaps between MacDougal and Sixth Ave. causing the enclosed apartments to briefly blink then disappear into the ether.

“The bad news is we lost everyone in those apartment buildings,” said Jim McKinnley, the neighborhood’s city counsel representative. “The good news is all their possessions—clothing, scrapbooks, photographs—disappeared with them, so they should be significantly easier to forget.”

Officials ask that residents of neighboring blocks temporarily evacuate their homes. “It’s a precautionary measure really. Once one line of residential apartments clear, you never know what will plop into its place,” said McKinnley.  “Not to be alarmist, but if a rogue tetrominoe drops from the sky we could have another Tetris.”

Along with the horrendous death count, New York City also lost the world famous Ben’s Pizzeria. Fortunately for pie lovers, the chain stands strong in four other locations: London, Japan, Spain and Italy. Delivery will remain available to residents south of 14th, north of Spring, west of Lafayette and east of 8th.



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