You take games too seriously.

Mario Favored 3:1 to Win Talladega



Mario’s recent inclusion in the Sprint Cup Series has fans excited and opponents concerned by the implications that come with a former kart racer—power boosts, blue shells and rocket starts.

The mixed emotions will reach a boil on April 26, when Mario competes in his first series race on the baked pavement of the Talladega Superspeedway. Vegas bookkeepers already have the speedster at a 3:1 advantage over his closest opponent, Kyle Busch. “He’s good,” said Busch when asked about his opponent’s chance of success, “but I wager he’ll be slowed down by his weight problem and the wind-resistance from his jaggy polygons.”

It is no secret that Mario, while wet behind the ears, will enter his freshman race with an advantage. Technically, the Sprint Cup Series has no rules against shells or bananas, and though boost mushrooms are prohibited, maneuvers like drifting and mini-boosts are permissible, so viewers can expect some of the plumber to capitalize on his unconventional style.

Mario voluntarily left the Mushroom Kingdom Kart Series late last year after his top competitor, Yoshi, implied the plumber cheated his way to victory with a strategy called “snaking.”  When reached for contact, Yoshi said, “Yoshi” adding with a knowing smirk, “Wahoo!”

However most NASCAR fans are more interested in Mario’s present than his past. “We’re not offended by him bendin’ the rules,” said a NASCAR fan who asked to remain anonymous, “We just wish he weren’t so Italian.”



Filed under: Commentary, , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

this is a blog about video games by chris plante, sam ryan and chris littler.

subscribe via rss, follow us on twitter, be our fan on facebook.

"BEST OF HUMOUR... Hardcasual is the magic mirror for gamers who aren’t afraid to laugh at themselves, and each other."
- Gaz Deaves, Video Games Records Manager, Guinness Book of World Records

"I liked Hardcasual when it was serious. Then they made a joke about me and turned into a comedy site. Now I like them even more... These guys are like The Onion of video games."
- Stephen Totilo, MTV Multiplayer Blog
%d bloggers like this: