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Mario Favored 3:1 to Win Talladega

"Who's-a-gunna-win?!"

"Who's-a-gunna-win?!"

Mario’s recent inclusion in the Sprint Cup Series has fans excited and opponents concerned by the implications that come with a former kart racer—power boosts, blue shells and rocket starts.

The mixed emotions will reach a boil on April 26, when Mario competes in his first series race on the baked pavement of the Talladega Superspeedway. Vegas bookkeepers already have the speedster at a 3:1 advantage over his closest opponent, Kyle Busch. “He’s good,” said Busch when asked about his opponent’s chance of success, “but I wager he’ll be slowed down by his weight problem and the wind-resistance from his jaggy polygons.”

It is no secret that Mario, while wet behind the ears, will enter his freshman race with an advantage. Technically, the Sprint Cup Series has no rules against shells or bananas, and though boost mushrooms are prohibited, maneuvers like drifting and mini-boosts are permissible, so viewers can expect some of the plumber to capitalize on his unconventional style.

Mario voluntarily left the Mushroom Kingdom Kart Series late last year after his top competitor, Yoshi, implied the plumber cheated his way to victory with a strategy called “snaking.”  When reached for contact, Yoshi said, “Yoshi” adding with a knowing smirk, “Wahoo!”

However most NASCAR fans are more interested in Mario’s present than his past. “We’re not offended by him bendin’ the rules,” said a NASCAR fan who asked to remain anonymous, “We just wish he weren’t so Italian.”

plante

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this is a blog about video games by chris plante, sam ryan and chris littler.


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