You take games too seriously.

Moby to Self-Release Song Pack for Rock Band

Groove to his vegan beats.

Groove to his vegan beats.

NEW YORK CITY, NY – Harmonix and MTV Games have made it crystal clear that they have nothing to do with recording artist Moby’s self-released song pack for Rock Band due out May 23rd. The song pack, curiously titled “Moby Moby Boy”, will be created by, tested by, and entirely released by the bald recording artist most famous for helping sell cars.

Moby – who was at one point kind of cool because he did that badass remix of the James Bond theme for Goldeneye – announced that he was working on the song pack at an event for TeaNY, the New York café he founded in 2002. Surrounded by a cadre of homosexuals in funny hats, he raised a tiny cup of green tea in the air and proclaimed, “I have approached Hamrocks [sic] several times and they have repeatedly turned down my idea of a game where people play my hits on fake plastic instruments, but Moby don’t take no shit from noMoby!”

Alex Rigopulos, co-founder of Harmonix, spoke to Hardcasual from his gold-plated yacht, one of two in the world that can actually transform into a giant helicopter. “He didn’t approach us for a song pack,” Mr. Rigopulos said. “He approached us with a first person shooter. He had all these sketchbooks filled with pictures. I told him nobody wanted to play a game about  Moby running around New York, killing people who eat beef. He blew up at me. I had to have security escort him out of the fortr—the building.”

Moby declined an interview for this article, but Hardcasual managed to obtain a few choice details about the song pack.

The song list includes favorites  “Honey”, “Porcelain”, “South Side”, and “Bodyrock” – all off 1999’s Play – but also features brand new material. Two of the new tracks are titled “Fuck You Hamrocks” and “Please Go To TeaNY, We Need the Business”.

“Moby Moby Boy” will not feature the typical guitar, drums, bass, and vocal tracks that Rock Band is known for. Instead, players will only be able to complete a song by donating to Moby’s pet charities and filling up the new “Charity Bar”.

The “Moby Moby Boy” song pack will be available worldwide May 23rd. It can only be purchased by calling Moby at his home and denouncing veal.



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