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You take games too seriously.

Nothing Special About Today’s Date

Everything is just as it should be.

Everything is just as it should be.

THE INTERNET – Early reports coming in to Hardcasual suggest that today is just like any other day and that everything you read on the internet should be taken at face value. Yes sir, in no way will respected news outlets compromise their journalistic integrity for the sake of juvenile pranks today.

“I don’t know what you’re implying,” said Brian Crecente, managing editor at Kotaku. “Today is as normal as can be. Believe everything you read. Tee hee hee!”

Today is set to be a red-letter day in the world of video game news, as several websites published exclusive reports this morning on some of the most anticipated titles of 2009 and beyond. It’s as if, for some reason, they all met and decided to break their stories at the same time. Weird.

Commentators from the blogosphere are voicing their outrage over an article from UGO that shows, for the very first time, the inclusion of Little Nephews in Bioshock 2: Ocean of Dreams. According to the article, the Little Nephews serve no purpose but to routinely hound the player for advice on girls and every once in a while ask to be sneaked into a rated R movie.

The major game houses have also chosen to break major developments in their flagship products today, which is strange because this is just a normal day that holds no significance to anyone.

Blizzard, which have both Starcraft 2 and Diablo 3 on their slate, revealed additional content for both titles on their website today. According to Starcraft2.com, the sequel to the immensely popular RTS will have dialogue-chains for all available units. This means that instead of soldiers blindly following all orders that you give, you must convince them. Persuading a grunt to dive headfirst into a heated firefight can take up to twenty minutes, even for advanced players.

When Hardcasual contacted Simon Carless for a comment on the recent developments, he quickly changed the subject. “Did you read our spread about how Nintendo and Microsoft are merging into Nintendosoft? Hold on, I have to put you on speakerphone.” Amidst the sound of muffled giggling, he added: “Pretty big news, huh? I can’t believe we were the only ones to break it. So are you going to link to it?”

Links below.

http://kotaku.com/63263277/resident-evil-4-recalled-in-canada
http://www.gamasutra.com/php-bin/sega-announces-Dreamcast-2
http://gamesblog.ugo.com/games/five-world-of-warcraft-servers-deleted
http://www.1up.com/do/bear-trained-to-play-real-life-q-bert

Littler

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Filed under: Commentary, , , , , , , ,

2 Responses

  1. Your Doge(?) says:

    Well played, you bastards. You completely got me with those links.

  2. Filipe says:

    Dammit, I was doped too.

    In unrelated news, one of Gamespot’s gags had a definite Hardcasual tone to it: http://www.gamespot.com/news/6207121.html

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this is a blog about video games by chris plante, sam ryan and chris littler.


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"BEST OF HUMOUR... Hardcasual is the magic mirror for gamers who aren’t afraid to laugh at themselves, and each other."
- Gaz Deaves, Video Games Records Manager, Guinness Book of World Records

"I liked Hardcasual when it was serious. Then they made a joke about me and turned into a comedy site. Now I like them even more... These guys are like The Onion of video games."
- Stephen Totilo, MTV Multiplayer Blog
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