You take games too seriously.

Level 54 Shaman Arrested, Polymorphed for Suspected Relationship with Underlevel Druid

The accused and his victim. (Picture courtesy of Cowspace.)

The accused and his victim. (Picture courtesy of Cowspace.)

THUNDER BLUFF, MALGORE – News spread quickly through the tauren capitol city this morning that Gordo, a level 54 orc shaman and a pillar of the alchemy community, was taken into custody by armed guards in the middle of the night for an alleged sexual relationship with an under-level druid.

Mr. Gordo, a prominent figure and self-proclaimed “family orc”, was charged by the Thunder Bluff tribunal with ‘having a sexual relationship with an inexperienced spell caster’ and ‘exposing himself in a place of worship.’ Hardcasual has learned from several trusted sources that Mr. Gordo probably became involved with the under-level druid – whose name we have omitted to respect her family’s right to privacy – after meeting her at his weekly group grief counseling, which he has attended since the night his entire raid was wiped out by M’uru.

Mr. Gordo was not available for comment, having been polymorphed into a tiny white sheep while he awaits his trial – standard procedure in the Thunder Bluff community.

“It’s shocking,” said Lynnane Runetotem, a schoolteacher who has lived in Thunder Bluff since its founding. “He was such a normal orc. Good dad, respected businessman. I guess they say it’s the ones you least expect that end up being the sickos. He transmuted Arcanite for me every Wednesday!”

In a statement released this afternoon, tauren chieftain Cairne Bloodhoof had this to say: “I speak for all tauren when I say we are incredibly disappointed that this greenskin was able to commit such explicit savagery beneath our snouts for so long. I swear to the great Earthmother, I will not let this kind of thing happen again. We are not animals. Please, please, please do not cancel your vacation plans to Thunder Bluff.”

While Hardcasual was unable to learn the current whereabouts of the level 16 druid, Mr. Gordo can be found in a bamboo cage near the southwest elevator, where this reporter spotted him enjoying some delicious grass and playfully nuzzling at the bars.



Filed under: Commentary, , , , , , , ,

4 Responses

  1. KBKarma says:

    But why did you include a picture? Don’t you care for her privacy? She’s going through a terrible time right now!

    You udder cowards.

  2. The Hammer says:

    “You udder cowards.”


  3. Your Doge(?) says:

    You know what tabs like Hardcasual are like.

    They’ll milk a story for all it’s worth.

  4. MaxS says:

    Pfff, should have played on a EU server, 16’s totally legal here :P

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

this is a blog about video games by chris plante, sam ryan and chris littler.

subscribe via rss, follow us on twitter, be our fan on facebook.

"BEST OF HUMOUR... Hardcasual is the magic mirror for gamers who aren’t afraid to laugh at themselves, and each other."
- Gaz Deaves, Video Games Records Manager, Guinness Book of World Records

"I liked Hardcasual when it was serious. Then they made a joke about me and turned into a comedy site. Now I like them even more... These guys are like The Onion of video games."
- Stephen Totilo, MTV Multiplayer Blog
%d bloggers like this: