You take games too seriously.

Christian Slater to Replace Nintendo Mascot

Chaos was what killed the Koopas, darling.

Chaos was what killed the Koopas, darling.

HOLLYWOOD, CA – Christian Slater confirmed on Wednesday that he was in negotiations with Nintendo to replace their popular mascot Mario. If all goes according to plan, the star could be shooting promos for the big N as soon as July.

The gig is a positive rebound for Slater, who was last seen on the canceled NBC drama, My Own Worst Enemy. However, it was likely Slater’s role in Hollow Man 2, replacing former lead Kevin Bacon, that convinced Nintendo the actor had the chops to step into shoes vacated by a bigger star.

As for Mario, rumors began circulating in December that the icon hoped to leave his company to pursue a degree in Studio Art, a lifelong passion.

Insiders believe the plumber will ask for upwards of 70 million gold coins during his annual contract renewal this April, an obvious price gouge, to evade Nintendo’s first option clause and force the company to pass.

“Christian, whose recent projects include Igor and the videogame-to-film adaptation Alone in the Dark, will come at a significantly lower cost than Mario,” says Slater’s agent Ben Gifford. “Nintendo have long prided themselves on profitability and efficiency. With Christian they get a thinner, stronger action hero for a food stipend and the lease to a 2002 Dodge Intrepid.”

“We’ve been looking for a fresh mascot for some time,” says Nintendo of America’s President, Reggie Fils-Aime, continuing, “We believe Slater captures the modern Nintendo spirit. Women love him. Men remember when he was cool. Children find him totally irrelevant.”



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