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Pre-Pubescant Boy Lives Longer When He Pretends He is a Girl

Bingham, or Brittany.

Bingham, or Brittany.

Bingham Davis, an eleven-year-old boy living in Scottsdale, Arizona discovered today that Call of Duty is much more enjoyable when he pretends that he is Brittany, a seventeen-year-old girl living in Scottsdale, Arizona.

After announcing that he is “on the cheer squad” and wears “lots of lipstick and perfume and stuff” to his teammates, he was overjoyed to find that he is killed half as often and even gifted with superior weapons by server administrators. “It’s like playing a whole different game. Guys keep letting me shoot them over and over. I went from being ranked 1,210 on the server to 801 in like, three hours.”

It seems the other players on the server are just as thrilled with ‘Brittany’s’ arrival. JediPadawanKiller, who plays on the server regularly, is overjoyed that a girl has joined their ranks. “She seems really cool, is all. I mean, I don’t know what she looks like, but she seems like someone I would like to hang out with, I think. She’s got a great personality and plays video games, and talks about all of her really hot friends, which is a major plus in my opinion.”

Bingham makes sure to only play Call of Duty when his parents aren’t home or asleep so as to not arouse suspicion, but is already considering the benefits of being a seventeen-year-old girl outside of the gaming world.

“Think about it. Girl’s have it so easy. Guys are always doing things for them. They open doors for them, buy them things. All they have to do is look pretty,” Bingham said. He is considering saving up his allowance and looking into reasonably-priced breast enhancement surgery.

Littler

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this is a blog about video games by chris plante, sam ryan and chris littler.


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