You take games too seriously.

Pre-Pubescant Boy Lives Longer When He Pretends He is a Girl

Bingham, or Brittany.

Bingham, or Brittany.

Bingham Davis, an eleven-year-old boy living in Scottsdale, Arizona discovered today that Call of Duty is much more enjoyable when he pretends that he is Brittany, a seventeen-year-old girl living in Scottsdale, Arizona.

After announcing that he is “on the cheer squad” and wears “lots of lipstick and perfume and stuff” to his teammates, he was overjoyed to find that he is killed half as often and even gifted with superior weapons by server administrators. “It’s like playing a whole different game. Guys keep letting me shoot them over and over. I went from being ranked 1,210 on the server to 801 in like, three hours.”

It seems the other players on the server are just as thrilled with ‘Brittany’s’ arrival. JediPadawanKiller, who plays on the server regularly, is overjoyed that a girl has joined their ranks. “She seems really cool, is all. I mean, I don’t know what she looks like, but she seems like someone I would like to hang out with, I think. She’s got a great personality and plays video games, and talks about all of her really hot friends, which is a major plus in my opinion.”

Bingham makes sure to only play Call of Duty when his parents aren’t home or asleep so as to not arouse suspicion, but is already considering the benefits of being a seventeen-year-old girl outside of the gaming world.

“Think about it. Girl’s have it so easy. Guys are always doing things for them. They open doors for them, buy them things. All they have to do is look pretty,” Bingham said. He is considering saving up his allowance and looking into reasonably-priced breast enhancement surgery.



Filed under: Commentary, , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

this is a blog about video games by chris plante, sam ryan and chris littler.

subscribe via rss, follow us on twitter, be our fan on facebook.

"BEST OF HUMOUR... Hardcasual is the magic mirror for gamers who aren’t afraid to laugh at themselves, and each other."
- Gaz Deaves, Video Games Records Manager, Guinness Book of World Records

"I liked Hardcasual when it was serious. Then they made a joke about me and turned into a comedy site. Now I like them even more... These guys are like The Onion of video games."
- Stephen Totilo, MTV Multiplayer Blog
%d bloggers like this: