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You take games too seriously.

Fan Petitions For More Innovative Games He Won’t Buy

Sign my petition, plz. No, srsly.

Sign my petition, plz. No, srsly.

INDEPENDENCE, MISSOURI – Scott Berkman, a temporary office clerk at
Anderson & Gould, a local traffic law firm, spent yesterday’s lunch
break on his favorite video game message boards petitioning for the
development of more creative and challenging titles—the type he never
plays.

The petition, titled “Games are Art: Death to Big Business,” asks for the major studios to spend at least $2.3 billion a year on games by conceptual artists and inebriated college students. The petition goes on to demand lower game prices, free DLC, and enforced sodomy for game company CEOs.

Berkman, known on forums as MztrBiglzWrth, has developed a reputation
amongst fellow commenters as an advocate for video games as fine art.

“He’s so eloquent. And well read. You should see him reference The
Wind-Up Bird Chronicle
,” said commenter TheShiaaaaaat007.

When asked for comment, EA PR rep Jared Powell said, “We at EA 100% support new and innovative games along with tried and true IPs. We admire Scott’s grit, but let’s not forget his last petition: ‘Come on FOX: Green Light More Nathan Fillion Shows.”

“Look, I’m not perfect. I won’t even say I play every innovative game, but I did pirate World of Goo,” Berkman said. “I just hope those guys don’t make a sequel; that’d be a total money grab.”

Berkman’s home theatre centerpiece is his game collection, made up of
first-person shooter franchises and WiiFit, which he claims belongs
to his girlfriend. The stack of wares is cozily nested between his
mini-fridge and vibrating massage chair. “This is my home. Sure, it looks
good now,” continued Berkman, “but imagine it with more dusty games I borrowed from friends.”

plante

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Filed under: Commentary

6 Responses

  1. KBKarma says:

    Fie on him! Oh fie! Why does he not reference more indy titles? Why does he not compare Planescape: Torment to the Human Condition?

    (as an aside, I advocate for original IPs as well. The difference is, I buy and play said original IPs. Or, failing that, borrow them from friends.)

  2. Sam Ryan says:

    noby noby nathan fillion

  3. Emily says:

    I find the older I get, the less interested I get in these games. I’ve been playing since the 80’s maybe I’m just tired…

  4. […] Fan Petitions For More Innovative Games He Won’t Buy « Hardcasual HC is really hitting the spot on parody, recently – nice idea to relaunch with that bent. […]

  5. […] Fan Petitions For More Innovative Games He Won’t Buy « Hardcasual HC is really hitting the spot on parody, recently – nice idea to relaunch with that bent. […]

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this is a blog about video games by chris plante, sam ryan and chris littler.


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