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You take games too seriously.

Video Gamer Realizes Frivolity of Hobby

Jimmy Hoshor days before his self-discovery.

Jimmy Hoshor days before his self-discovery.

Jimmy Hoshor, a local gas station attendant, gave up video games yesterday for greater pursuits. Twelve hours into a Sisyphean battle with Final Fantasy XII’s Yiazmat, Hoshor took a restroom break. After he promptly relieved himself, midway through his triple lather-rinse-repeat handwashing ritual, the young man caught a glimpse of something in the mirror: himself.

“I was at 50,111,120 of 50,112,254 hit points. Yiazmat’s defeat was in the bag,” Jimmy Hosher said in an exclusive phone interview with Hardcasual. “Then it struck me. This boss was optional. He was an optional boss. And really, aren’t all bosses optional bosses. We don’t have to fight any of them. We don’t have to play these games. Why do we play these games? What do we get? Who are we? Digital gods? We’re merely bags of flesh; what we leave behind, that is our identity, our true self. Amirite. ”

Freed by this moment of existential clarity, Hoshor deleted his Final Fantasy XII save file and hastefully auctioned off his prized collection of NES rarities and unopened Intellivision carts.

With his newfound free time, Hoshor has the ability to pursue a healthier diet, a competitive managerial position at his gas station and even a Master’s in English at a prestigious state school. When asked about future plans, Hoshor responded. “I don’t know, maybe I’ll manage a fantasy baseball team.”

plante

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this is a blog about video games by chris plante, sam ryan and chris littler.


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