Hardcasual

Icon

You take games too seriously.

NPC Dreams of One Day Becoming PC

Night elf, quest-giver, martyr.

Night elf, quest-giver, martyr.

Porthannius, the night-elf NPC who has a package of herbs that you must deliver to Dolanaar immediately, dreams of one day quitting his job as a non-player character and becoming a player character. Though he is incapable of saying anything beyond what he has been programmed to say, his late-night blog posts reveal his most secret hopes and desires.

“i suppose i shuld be happy to even have a job,” he writes in one recent posting, “but i dont know how much moer of this i can take. i see so many adventurers every day and i give them my herbs and they don’t even give me the time of day. its like im a piece of garbage to them. im only hear to give them experience and 2 pieces of silver. what about me? dont i deserve something more than this?”

Porthannius’s argument has stirred up a mix of emotions all across the PC and NPC community. Nelson Gantry, a lawyer who specializes in NPC rights, claims that this is by no means an isolated case.

“We’ve seen this before, you know, and it does not often end well. I represented Agartumen the Spoiler, if you remember that case. He was a quest giver in the Blasted Lands, had been moved around a couple times, finally ended up in the middle-of-nowhere with a quest about killing boars or something and he just lost it completely, started attacking players who were trying to turn in their quests. Killed a lot of people. And when we looked back over his history while prepping his trial, we saw he was writing a lot of the same things this night-elf NPC writes. The powers-that-be ended up deleting him. That’s just the way it goes.”

A protest by “Stand Still and Deliver”, a group of NPC sympathizers, is scheduled for tomorrow morning at the gates of Stormwind.

Littler

Advertisements

Filed under: Commentary, , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

this is a blog about video games by chris plante, sam ryan and chris littler.


subscribe via rss, follow us on twitter, be our fan on facebook.


"BEST OF HUMOUR... Hardcasual is the magic mirror for gamers who aren’t afraid to laugh at themselves, and each other."
- Gaz Deaves, Video Games Records Manager, Guinness Book of World Records

"I liked Hardcasual when it was serious. Then they made a joke about me and turned into a comedy site. Now I like them even more... These guys are like The Onion of video games."
- Stephen Totilo, MTV Multiplayer Blog
%d bloggers like this: