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Adam “Pacman” Jones Changes Name to “Dig” Doug Gould

Paman Jones is now Dig Doug Gould - La Heim!

Paman Jones is now Dig Doug Gould - La Chaim!

Cross-Linked at Good Grief: A New Podcast featuring Hardcasual

NFL free agent, Adam “Pacman” Jones,” has taken out a full-page ad in today’s New York Times to announce he has officially changed his name to “Dig” Doug Gould. The switch comes after 3 years of off-field trouble for Mr. Jones, now Mr. Gould, that included a shooting in Vegas that left manager Tommy Urbanski paralyzed.

“It’s time to look forward,” reads Gould’s ad, “I cast aside my old name that alluded to a pill-popping, make believe ghost chasing, giant puzzle of life running type of man.”

Over recent months, Gould has been outspoken about the need to improve his image and standing in society to better himself both as a civilian and as a prospect for the upcoming NFL season. He has volunteered with both the Houston Career Preparatory Learning Lab and the Dallas School for Young Swimmers.

“The new nickname, “Dig” Doug, encapsulates my metamorphosis from gutter dwelling ass pimple to born-again community-loved super star. I had these monsters inside me, underneath my skin,” continued Mr. Gould’s advert, “so I went in there, inside myself, and I popped them. With a hose.”

Its widely believed the Kansas City Chiefs, Oakland Raiders, Detroit Lions and New Orleans Saints have their eyes on Gould with hopes to bolster their defense and special teams.

“I approve of Mr. Gould’s decision,” said Oakland Raider’s General Managing Partner, Al Davis. “It’s kosher.”

plante

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