Hardcasual

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You take games too seriously.

Cut Scene Skipped

If I wanted to think, I would have watched Battlestar Galactica.

If I wanted to think, I would have watched Battlestar Galactica.

A cut scene that reveals several plot twists and sheds light on the motivations of key characters went completely unwatched yesterday afternoon. The fourteen-and-a-half minute scene – which took writers, programmers, musicians, and animators over three months to complete – was skipped over by nineteen-year-old college freshman Jerome Wittlebock in favor of more time spent killing enemies and collecting items.

Mr. Wittlebock, a political science major, claims that he had neither the time nor the energy to sit through a “bunch of talking,” adding that “these ammo boxes aren’t going to collect themselves.”

Hitsuru Natamashi, the head writer on the game, expressed his displeasure with Mr. Wittlebock’s choice of skipping over what he considered a crucial element of his work. “Of course we could make it so that [the player] could not skip over the fourteen minute cut-scene, but we didn’t think it was necessary. [He] didn’t have to do anything but watch. Who wouldn’t want to learn a little more about the man whose back you’ve been staring at for the past twenty hours? We all thought people would be itching to learn about his tortured childhood, or the love-triangle he’s in with a racecar driver and a robot dog.”

Natamashi’s grievances fall on deaf ears. “These guys, all they want to do is waste your time with people talking,” Mr. Wittlebock told me as we stood in his kitchen, waiting for his hot pocket to cool, “It seems like all that time making rounded, intriguing characters could have been spent on adding more weapons.”

After beating the game with 100% of all items collected and quests completed, Mr. Wittlebock plans to jump on the internet and tell all his friends how boring it all was.

Littler

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2 Responses

  1. Steve B says:

    I’m listening to your podcast (right now…. oh wait it just ended) I hate you

    JK keep it up – liking it so far

  2. […] Hardcasual – Cut Scene Skipped “Mr. Wittlebock, a political science major, claims that he had neither the time nor the energy to sit through a ‘bunch of talking,’ adding that ‘these ammo boxes aren’t going to collect themselves.’” […]

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this is a blog about video games by chris plante, sam ryan and chris littler.


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"BEST OF HUMOUR... Hardcasual is the magic mirror for gamers who aren’t afraid to laugh at themselves, and each other."
- Gaz Deaves, Video Games Records Manager, Guinness Book of World Records

"I liked Hardcasual when it was serious. Then they made a joke about me and turned into a comedy site. Now I like them even more... These guys are like The Onion of video games."
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