You take games too seriously.

Solid Snake Must Be Somewhere in This Warehouse

Go get your box-cutter, Otacon.

Go get your box-cutter, Otacon.

Solid Snake, the special operations agent who frequently amuses himself by hiding in cardboard boxes, has been taped up and shipped to a warehouse in Oslo, Norway. Details are scarce at this point, but it appears Mr. Snake, famous for single-handedly dismantling Outer Heaven and destroying countless Metal Gears, made an error while shipping classified documents overseas and was picked up by a Fedex truck. The rescue operation has proved fruitless as of the time of this writing.

“There are over four million boxes in this warehouse,” said Sindre Borgos, a forklift operator with the Bridgway Freight Company. “The odds of [us] finding him before he suffocates [are] very small.”

The military community have banded together to devote time and energy into locating the missing spy, using their most innovative gadgets to scour the area for any sign of life. So far, they have uncovered twenty pounds of yellow cake uranium and the skeleton of a Russian mail order bride. Both were repackaged and placed back on their shelves.

Many are upset that more isn’t being done by the United States Government to locate Mr. Snake. At a press conference this afternoon, Col. Roy Campbell reassured a room full of reporters that he was doing everything in his power to bring his operative back safely, adding, “Snake? Snaaaake? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!”

Mr. Snake was due to appear on the Today Show this Sunday to promote his new line of bandannas.



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