You take games too seriously.

Hardcasual Editor Spends Evening Staring at Digital Penis

Mere moments before Sam's life changed forever

Mere moments before Sam's life changed forever

NEW YORK, NY – Hardcasual.net editor Sam Ryan spent two hours at his computer this evening, staring at a screencap of a digitally rendered penis from Grand Theft Auto IV: The Lost and the Damned. When questioned about his actions, Ryan is reported to have claimed that he “was working on a blog post.”

The penis has already ignited a storm of internet press, as its addition to the Grand Theft Auto expansion appears to be a direct attack on the “morality police” so often challenge the Rockstar-developed series. However, very few reports have circulated of the penis’s transfixing power, making Mr. Ryan’s case particularly curious.

Mr. Ryan’s girlfriend, who declined to be named, said of his behavior: “Sam is a great boyfriend. He does all the cooking and the cleaning, and he always knows all the best places to go shopping. But this is so strange! I haven’t seen him like this since the time we watched 300.”

When asked for further comment, Mr. Ryan added, “There’s got to be a post for Hardcasual in here somewhere. There’s got to be something funny about this digital penis, its prominent bush of polygonal pubic hair, and its two playfully-dangling NPC testicles. Maybe if I just watch the video one more time, it’ll come on me. To me.”

At the time this story went to press, Mr. Ryan had taken a break to go to Gray’s Papaya for their delicious hot dogs, and was unavailable for comment.


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this is a blog about video games by chris plante, sam ryan and chris littler.

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