You take games too seriously.

Left 4 Dead Survivors Accidentally Shoot Uninfected Bear Grylls

No time to think! Just shoot, damn it!

No time to think! Just shoot, damn it!

The new book written by four survivors of the recent zombie-apocalypse, “I’ve Got a Pipe Bomb Over Here,” is already fast on its way to being a New York Times bestseller. In the excerpt below, “Louis” reveals how a simple case of mistaken identity cost former Discovery Channel star Bear Grylls his life.

“We climbed the ladder and found ourselves in front of Mercy Hospital at last. I looked at my filthy shoes, glad to be done with the sewers. Someone announced that there was a safe room up ahead. We were overjoyed. Could  we have found sanctuary?

The answer to that in a moment, but first we had to get to the front door.

A furious howl turned our attention towards the hundred or so infected scrambling towards a nearby fence, growling and screaming at us like a pack of wild animals. There was no way we could escape into the hospital before they reached us. We would have to stand our ground and fight.

Continued after the jump.

We dove for cover behind a still-running police cruiser and fired a spray of bullets into the crowd. Red mist filled the air as the bodies piled around us. I remember Bill laughing.

A figure appeared from the darkness, waving his hands in the air. We took no chances. We emptied our clips into him. It was only after the dust  settled that we saw the terrible mistake we had made.

He was splayed over a bus stop bench, an assortment of canteens littered around him. His clothes were tattered, his beard flecked with bits of blood of spittle, and on his back was a knapsack made out of what looked to be the skin of a cat or a dog. Zoey recognized him immediately.

“Wait a second. Isn’t that the guy from Man vs. Wild?” she asked. “I swear that’s him. Bear something.”

The rest of us claimed to have never seen the program.

“Well, how in the heck did he last so long all by his lonesome?”

“That’s his thing. He makes a big deal about how he can survive…” Zoey said, trailing off. “He sure looked like a zombie.”

A smoker coughed nearby. We were sitting ducks out here.

“He shoulda known better,” Francis said and walked towards the hospital. I gave Zoey a reassuring pat on the back and offered her some kind words. The four of us resumed our journey, content to never speak of the incident again.



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