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SAN d’ORIA TO LAY OFF THOUSANDS OF BLACK MAGES, CORSAIRS

Maybe you can shine shoes?

Maybe you can shine shoes?

The shake-up in Vana’diel continues as the Kingdom of San d’Oria has just announced that due to a faltering economy, thousands of black mages and corsairs will be losing their jobs at the end of the week. This news from Elvaan lands comes as another shock to citizens of Vana’diel who are still reeling from the over 550 adventurers who disappeared without a trace in the middle of the night.

“I was hanging out near the auction house in Jeuno when some of the upper echelon types in my linkshell started freaking out, and it wasn’t until I went to do some gardening that I found out that I had lost one of my jobs,” said Magicwizardman, a taru-taru who is currently employed as a bard. “I mean, I don’t do much as a black mage anymore, but it was nice to have it as an option. I can’t imagine how hard this is hitting those guys who went through all the trouble of getting Laevateinn.”

Members of the black mage and corsair communities have banded together to petition San d’Oria and are currently seeking legal representation in the Federation of Windurst.

“Black mages and corsairs are staples of the adventurer community,” said Carthurian, one of many humans who lost two jobs today. “They’re the backbone in the war against the Zilart, or Bahamut, or what have you. To unceremoniously dump them is a grievous error on the part of the d’Oraguilles. If I was the Shadow Lord, I would certainly see this as a prime opportunity to conquer the world. I’m not the Shadow Lord, though. I want to make that clear. I am not the Shadow Lord.”

In response to massive protests all across Vana’diel, a spokesknight for the d’Oraguille family released this brief statement:

“After several of our best-equipped men disappeared overnight with nary a word as to where they were going, San d’Oria’s coffers looked rather light. The Royal Family had a decision to make and this is it. Perhaps Windurst will take them. That it is all. Disperse.”

Star Sibyl could not be reached for comment.

littler

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Filed under: Commentary

2 Responses

  1. chesh says:

    this brightened my day, despite being good friends with a few of those 550.

  2. Yegwa says:

    Ah, this brings back memories.

    I would also like to say that as far as I am concerned, it serves all those black mages right. They could have worked in Windurst and would still have their jobs instead of working for those long necked hooligans in San d’Oria.

    Maybe now they will learn that the Star Sibyl and Windurst in general is a far, far better city to work in.

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this is a blog about video games by chris plante, sam ryan and chris littler.


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