You take games too seriously.

The Top 10 Games I’m Looking Forward to Making Fun of in 2009

(this is the worst New Year's image I could find on the internet. thanks, simgamers.com!)

(the worst New Year's image on the internet. thanks, simsgamer.com!)

10. Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars
Because if there’s hooker-on-stylus action, I have a week’s worth of posts.

9. Henry Hatsworth
Because I’m insecure in my masculinity, so rather than just enjoying a game called “Henry Hatsworth”, I need to make fun of it to prove I’m not a little girl.

8. Scribblenauts 
Because I can’t wait to see if it recognizes “dildo”.

7. Wet
Because the gross, gross puns reviewers will attempt in writing about it will make for a quote round-up to end all quote round-ups.

6. The Beatles Game
Because playing as Ringo Starr will either be infinitely sad or infinitely awesome.

Top 5, after the break.

5. Dante’s Inferno
Because unlike the development team, I’ve actually read Dante’s Inferno, and I can make awesome Vergil’s Aeneid jokes all day long.

4. Mass Effect 2
Because they’ve got to top that sex scene, and massive space orgies are a comedic gift that keeps on giving.

3. 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand
Because the complete implosion of someone’s career and credibility is always a good source of laffs.

2. Metal Gear Solid: Touch
Because nothing quite emulates the nuances of modern war as an iPhone clone of Whack-A-Mole with Metal Gear Solid characters.

1. Halo 3: ODST
Because it sounds like Halo 3: STD, and I am that fucking immature.

 – sam


Filed under: Commentary, Top Ten

3 Responses

  1. wordsmythe says:

    If only Wet were a title for the Wii.

  2. whir says:

    You may want to read Inferno again, paying close attention to the spelling of proper nouns

  3. Chris says:

    @wordsmythe If it were, they would already have my reservation. I’m an easy sell.


    “Publius Vergilius Maro (October 15, 70 BCE – September 21, 19 BCE) was a classical Roman poet, better known by the Anglicised form of his name as Virgil or Vergil.”


    Pointing out irrelevant slip-ups in a blog post is like pointing out pussy pimples on a teenager’s face. Who’s it helping?

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