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You take games too seriously.

SUN TZU’S THE ART OF WAR VS. DYNASTY WARRIORS

Sun Tzu finds Lu Bu totally cheap.

Sun Tzu finds Lu Bu totally cheap.

“Regard your soldiers as your children, and they will follow you into the deepest valleys. Look on them as your own beloved sons, and they will stand by you even unto death!”

Regard your soldiers as competition. On rare occasions, they will steal kills from you.

“Do not interfere with an army that is returning home.”

Shoot an army that is returning home in the back with flaming arrows.

“When the officers are too strong and the common soldiers too weak, the result is collapse.”

When the officers are too strong and the common soldiers too weak, the result is Lu Bu.

“He will win who knows when to fight and when not to fight.”

He will win who surrounds himself with hundreds of enemy soldiers and uses his special attack.

“Fighting with a small army under your command is no different from fighting with a large one: it is merely a question of instituting signs and signals.”

Fighting with a small army under your command is no different from fighting with a large one: it is merely a question of whether or not you have another fifteen minutes to blow before dinner.

“You can ensure the safety of your defense if you only hold positions that cannot be attacked.”

You can ensure the safety of your defense if you slaughter everything that moves.

“Should the enemy send reinforcements everywhere, he will everywhere be weak.”

Should the enemy send reinforcements everywhere, find some fairy wine – and quick!

“To win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the supreme of excellence. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the supreme excellence.”

To win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is a supremely excellent weekend.

-ctl

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Filed under: Commentary

11 Responses

  1. caddon says:

    “In war, then, let your great object be victory,
    not lengthy campaigns.”

    In war, then, let your great object be 4th weapons.

  2. Surlaw The Mai says:

    Wow, after playing Warriors Orochi 2 all weekend this made my monday, well said~!

  3. Cao Cao says:

    Too true

  4. Xander says:

    I think Sun Tzu just rolled over in his grave, and shed a single tear…

    HUGH SUCCESS!

  5. caddon says:

    “What the ancients called a clever fighter is
    one who not only wins, but excels in winning with ease.”

    What the ancients called a clever fighter is one who not only wins, but scours the battlefield for life/musou+10 items.

  6. ttocs says:

    Great post! This made me laugh! Very random idea, but you made it work! Kudos!

  7. FSTA says:

    “He who knows the enemy and himself need not fear the result of a hundred battles”

    That’s one of my favorite Sun Tzu quotes. Someone Dynasty Warrior-itize it.

  8. Xander says:

    @ FSTA
    “He who knows the enemy can intercept them before they spawn.”

  9. “Regard your soldiers as competition. On rare occasions, they will steal kills from you.”

    Rare? Those idiots are always after my game. LOL. Great idea, I about cracked up at the quotes!

  10. Dw_Angel says:

    xD If Sun Tzu cud see this know my god would he cry till till he created a lake and this also contains much need in over dw. and lu bu cheap? nah he’s just overrated xD

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this is a blog about video games by chris plante, sam ryan and chris littler.


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