You take games too seriously.

Top 10: A Banjo-Kazooie 3 Wishlist

If you’re like me, a real sucker, you downloaded Microsoft’s new media app, Silverlight, to sneak a peek through Rare’s dirtied peephole at Banjo-Kazooie 3. And if you’re like me, a real stubborn blockhead, you were upset to find a teaser page featuring a rotating golden puzzle piece. There was no Banjo, no Kazooie, and definitely no Mumbo-Jumbo.

Check it out here, or don’t bother, and imagine this image, gold and twirling.

I shouldn’t be upset. Sure, Rare let me down, but that’s happened before. Why even get my hopes up? So in an effort to save myself from further damage, I will not mention Banjo-Kazooie 3 until it is released.

Screw it, top ten wishes for Rare’s Banjo-Kazooie 3, go!

10.) Pre-Order Swag: Party like it’s 1999 with your Mumbo Jumbo Beanie Baby.

9.) Re-make Rusty Bucket Bay: Technically impressive at the time, the idea of Banjo and Kazooie trapped underwater in a sinking ship whets my whistle. Think Poseidon Adventure meets Brother Bear. It would be hell, upside down.

8.) Guest Appearances: Joanna Dark, Donkey Kong, James Bond, Viva Pinatas, and Conker, however improbable, let’s make it happen. Please.

7.) An Obvious Title: Banjo-Threeie. Do it for me. Or do it for Pony Boy. But please, Just Do It.

6.) Time: I try not to get my hopes up for major releases, but this time I can’t help but be both excited and worried. I’m as anxious as cattle in a meat factory, but please do not rush this product, Rare. I can wait another three years, or even another platform for a great game. I have bloody indulgences like GTA IV, Too Human, and Cooking Mama 3 to hold me over.

5 through 1, including Jinjos and paint balls, after the jump…

5.) Portable Jinjos: Please allow me to briefly enter dream land. I want Jinjo Chaos, portable Jinjos to transfer between my Wii and DS. Wait, this isn’t a Nintendo game? Oh God, no.

4.) Rare’s Cheat Screen: Players love in-game rewards; look at the popularity of the Burnout series. Goldeneye 007 nailed this mechanic with options like DK Mode, Infinite Ammo, and additional multiplayer content. No Paintball Mode, no deal.

3.) Free Games: With Donkey Kong 64, Rare put classic games into their campaigns. Since, it has become a trend. I would love Banjo- Kazooie and Tooie as bonuses. Or just include one of the many sadly unsold copies of Viva Pinata.

2.) Keep It a Platformer: Rumors are circulating that the new Banjo might be a puzzler or, sin of sins, an FPS. Maybe Rare loves to re-imagine franchises, see: Conker, but I don’t want Call of Duty: Bird and Bear Edition. OK, maybe I do, but they would have to abandon the cartoony style, and when you maul a grunt, their brains would have to gush through your razor teeth like stomped grapes, and the Wii controls…

1.) A Release Date

Banjo-Threeie Image: Link

Game | Life: Microsoft Teases Banjo-Kazooie



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